Nooo!
by mkh2
Summary: A bored Goku, a seamstress Bulma, a mischievous Vegeta and a Polaroid. . . what more do you need to know?


"Noooo!"

another short Goku and Vegeta buddy fanfic

mkh2

~

" " – denotes speech

' ' – denotes thinking

~

A bored Goku, a seamstress Bulma, a mischievous Vegeta and a Polaroid... what more do you need to know?

~

:sweatdrops: I have no life. I also have no claim to DragonballZ-tachi either, so don't sue me- you'll get nothing, nothing at all… except for maybe some used tennis shoe laces, if that. DragonballZ belongs to the creative genius of Akira Toriyama, and I'm obviously not him. No seriously, I'm not him – I don't look like him either. 

Anywho, on with the fic!

~

Goku was bored, as he tends to get when Chichi grounds him from his training. He grew tired of looking at the TV Guide, the newspaper, the encyclopedias (10 complete sets of the massive information storage units), and some trashy romance novels (when did we get these?) Currently he was flipping through the TV channels, all 6,253 of them. They recently received the gift of digital cable from his long time friend Bulma as an anniversary present, stating that no one should go without digital.

His head flopped forward. Perhaps he should go back to that coloring book... even if it _was_ hard to keep inside the lines. Frowning, he looked around for it, his eyes brightening as they suddenly settled on a framed picture on the mantle. Him and Bulma trying to start a campfire, Oolong who got caught on fire and Yamcha who was flipping out for some reason or other... Puar had the camera, as was evidenced by the bit of blue fuzz in the upper right corner.

Ah, those were the days.

He perked up. Why doesn't he go visit Bulma? Chichi's out doing some grocery shopping; he'd just leave her a note...

Scrawling one out, he stuck it to the fridge and used instant transmission to get the dickens out of there just as Chichi arrived, calling Goku to help her with the food.

~

Vegeta was sitting at the kitchen table, munching on a hoagie, the fifth course of his snack – he needed the energy boost after all, and those power bars did nothing for him. He choked as Goku suddenly appeared, sitting in his rice.

"Woah, a little off target there... I meant to appear next to you." Goku hopped out of the bowl, slapping the rice out of his pants. "Aww man, a rice stain, Chichi's going to have a fit—"

"I take it that onna of yours let you of hook and you're here for a spar?" Vegeta raised an elegant eyebrow, expecting an answer in the affirmative.

"Actually, no; I'm here to visit Bulma, but it was easier to find your ki. Where is she, by the way?" Goku looked around expectantly.

"I don't know, probably down in the lab, tinkering on some damn invention of hers that, if I go near, will probably explode and cause me to spend some time on the couch instead of my bed," Vegeta grouched, eyebrows twitching. Kakarrotto was here to see Bulma and not him? How... rude.

"Cool, so I'll just go down then right?" Turning Goku left the kitchen.

Vegeta facefaulted.

~

Goku happily darted through Capsule Corporation's halls until he found himself outside Bulma's lab door. Peeking in, he knocked on the doorframe and called out hello.

"Hey, Bulma? It's me Goku..." He trailed off as he blinked at what Bulma was up to.

Bulma glanced up from her box, fiddling with the pattern she was trying to read. "Oh hey, Goku, what's up?"

"I'm bored... I guess you must be too, 'cause I've _never_ seen you work on a dress before... Break from one of your inventions?" Goku stared at the piled of white silky cloth pooled out over her workbench and then to the black tuxedo hanging from an overhead light.

"Actually, I'm working on this wedding dress as a favor to a friend of mine who is getting married soon. I had taken some sewing classes a while back, my mom had suggested taking a break, and I'm pretty good if I do say so myself." Bulma's eyes twisted up happily. "Whaddya think?" She held up the dress.

"Wow Bulma, it's great! I've never seen a dress that beautiful!" Goku's eyes ran over the creamy gown. "It even sparkles!"

"Oho ho ho ho ho! I _am_ a genius, aren't I?" Bulma grinned at her work. "Ya know, this would be easier if I had a mannequin to try this on… and also one for the tuxedo… I really need to get to work on that." Frowning she looked over at Goku for a moment before she brightened up. "Hey Goku, would you mind doing me a favor?"

Goku looked back over at Bulma, as he had looked over at the tuxedo when she had mentioned it. "Yeah?"

"Wanna be my dummy?"

Goku sweatdropped, then thinking it over nodded. "Sure, I wouldn't mind trying on the tuxedo – it looks really nice, though a little small..."

Bulma grinned mischievously. "Oh, that's not what I meant."

Goku paled. 'Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?'

~

Vegeta grumbled, now officially royally bored, passed by Bulma's lab, glancing in to see whether or not Goku was bothering Bulma. He walked past, only to freeze and rush back to look in.

"Buruma, who is the onna? She looks too young to be one of your friends. And where is Kakarrotto? He's supposed to be in here bothering you." His eyes darted around the room.

Bulma's eyes narrowed as the onna on the stool in the fancy dress blushed under her veil and rubbed the back of her head nervously in an unnervingly familiar way.

"Too young? I'll have you know I look rather young for my age, thank you!" Bulma snapped then gestured to the fidgeting girl behind her. "And that onna is _Goku_, for your information. He just happened to be the right size for the wedding dress and – " She was cut off as the Saiyajin no Ouji fell to the floor, rolling in laughter.

"Bwahahahaha! That is Kakarrotto! Nonsense! Since when did Kakarrotto have breasts!" Vegeta snorted, pulling himself back up to his feet.

Bulma glared at him a moment and walking over to the wilting bride's dummy, ripped the veil of his head, revealing a shock of familiar black spikes.

"Hi Veggie," Goku waved sheepishly.

"Ka- Kakarrotto!" Vegeta shrieked. "What in HFIL are you wearing?!"

"A- a wedding dress?" offered Goku, bright red from this embarrassing development. "Ya see, like Bulma said – " 

"Bwhahaha! Be right back!" Vegeta ducked out of the room, leaving behind a blinking Bulma and Goku, both very confused.

"Okay, what's up with that?" Bulma frowned, putting her fists on her hips.

"I hope he doesn't start calling people over…" Goku muttered nervously.

Suddenly Vegeta darted back in the room and – click!

"Mwahahaha! Now I have proof!" Vegeta cheered waving a little Polaroid through the air. "Aw, let's just watch it develop – look, you can already see Kakarrotto's hair!"

"Bulma!" cried Goku, looking beseechingly at Bulma. "Do something!" After all, he was in a wedding dress that Bulma made because of her, and since she worked so hard on it he didn't want to ruin it.

Bulma frowned thoughtfully for a moment before her face split into a wicked grin.

"Oh _Vegetaaaa_……….."

~

"Darn you Kakarrotto, darn you to heck!" Vegeta grumbled. "Ouch! Watch it woman! I'm not a pincushion you know!"

"Ya know Vegeta, you wouldn't get pricked so much if you just stayed still," said Goku thoughtfully as he sniffed and picked at his bouquet. "This isn't really all that bad. I've been stuck in dresses by her before and believe me, it's not that big a deal."

"Goku's right Vegeta," said Bulma around her mouthful of pins. "Besides, it's not like you're wearing the flower girl's outfit... Just the tuxedo."

"Buruma, if it wasn't for the fact that we live together..." Vegeta began.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, stay still, the both of you. I just need to grab something real fast." Turning, she walked over to a table by the door.

Vegeta and Goku looked at each other in confusion.

"That's funny, I know Bulma had said that she had everything she needed set up on her workbench right here…" muttered Goku.

"Well, who knows how that darn onna's mind works," stated Vegeta.

"Oh, well, wanna smell my flowers?" Goku stuck the bouquet out to Vegeta, who glared suspiciously at it before leaning over.

"Hn."

Click!

Vegeta and Goku froze, pale, before turning to look at a grinning Bulma by the door.

"Well, well, evidence!" Bulma smirked.

"Bulma!" "Buruma!"

~ Owari ~

Heh, well, I hope you enjoyed. After reading so many fics where Goku or Vegeta are in dresses, or end up in dresses, or where one or the other is a girl, hey, whaddya expect? Hee, I had fun writing this. I'm just here chugging my Pepsi and drinking my chocolate chip cookies… Mmmm… cookies…

Tippy: You need to cut back on the Pepsi.

mkh2: No! Mine! Mwahahaha! :runs out of room clutching Pepsi and cookies protectively to chest while sister swings around her giant broomstick:

Tippy: Darn you Mikki!


End file.
